Pick one rule and apply it to everyone
Plus-one decisions are not really about plus-ones. They are about whether you can explain the rule to somebody who did not get one. Any of these rules works; improvising does not.
| Rule | Who gets a plus-one | Works when | Awkward when |
|---|---|---|---|
| Married, engaged or cohabiting | Anyone with a partner they live with or are formally committed to | The clearest line and the easiest to defend | Someone has been dating two years without living together |
| In a relationship you know the name of | Anyone whose partner you could name | Warmer, and still explicable | It depends on how well you keep up with people |
| Wedding party and travelling guests only | Attendants, and anyone coming a long way alone | Small weddings with a hard cap | It visibly ranks guests |
| Everyone | All single guests | Budget allows, and you would rather not adjudicate | It can add 20–30% to the guest count |
| Nobody | No plus-ones at all | A very small wedding where everyone knows everyone | A guest genuinely knows no one else attending |
How to word it
Address the envelope and the invitation to exactly the people invited. Named guests are the mechanism; an explanation is rarely needed.
- With a plus-one: "Sarah Ahmed and Guest", or better, the partner's actual name if you know it.
- Without: "Sarah Ahmed" alone, and an RSVP card with one line for one name.
- If asked directly: "We've had to keep it to partners who live together — we're at the venue's limit." True, specific, and not personal.
What it costs
Before deciding, count the single guests on your list and multiply by the marginal cost per guest — catering, drinks, stationery and a place setting, typically £100–£130 at a mid-range budget. Twenty single guests is £2,000–£2,600 and possibly two extra tables. That is a real decision with a real number, and it is much easier to make before the invitations than after somebody asks.
Record the rule, then apply it once
Decide it as a column in the guest list, not case by case in your inbox.
Common questions
Who should get a plus-one at a wedding?
Pick one rule and apply it to everybody. The clearest is partners who are married, engaged or living together. Whichever you choose, it needs to be explicable to someone who did not get one.
How do you tell guests they cannot bring a plus-one?
Address the envelope and the RSVP card to exactly the people invited, with one line for one name. If asked directly, name the rule and the constraint: "we have had to keep it to partners who live together, we are at the venue's limit."
How much do plus-ones add to a wedding budget?
Roughly £100–£130 each at a mid-range budget, covering catering, drinks, stationery and a place setting. Twenty single guests is £2,000–£2,600 and possibly two more tables.
Should you give plus-ones to the wedding party?
Most couples do, and it is one of the easier lines to defend, alongside guests travelling a long way alone. It only causes problems if the rest of the list has no rule at all.